The Best Damn Cheese in the World

The winner is...St. Andre.

Sleepy Sunday morn
Warm purring cats lounge, idle,
Stretched out like bear rugs

Haiku 3: Thanksgiving Break

No classes today
To gobble up the hours
I teach the cat "fetch".

Haiku 2: After Thanksgiving

Still stuffed like the bird
I pound away at the gym,
Leave feeling queasy

Haiku

Slate blue sky, black branch
Yellow light, heat inside; Out:
Quiet icy air

So I thought

…that Lance Corporal was the name of a certain famous Marine. This morning I actually left the news on, wondering why they were still talking about his death. Then I realized…

Busy Bee

Wow, have I been busy. Miss 3 days of work and...Plus the semester is winding down and exams are just 'round the corner.

Kisses to you all, I'll get back to the site fairly soon. Happy Thanksgiving, in case we don't e-chat before then.

A Bright Note on a Sick Day

The buzzer rang twice and here was UPS with my package, my shoes, my anticipated shoes ordered a month ago online and backordered, it turned out, when they didn't arrive after a week. I opted to wait for the shoes. Yesterday Shoedini placed a shipping notification in my inbox, and today, the Great Man in Brown arrived, parcel under his arm.

I pulled my treasure inside, half-afraid to open the box, lest some monster lurked inside. But open it I did, more eager for the month's anticipation. I sliced the tape with an Exacto, extracted the neat shoebox from the shipping box. It smelled good already. Inside were a few advertising cards from the company, and two drawstring bags imprinted with the company logo. I opened one, untying the green knot and sliding the sack's mouth apart, and out came a perfect shoe, shiny and black and just beautiful. (And I'm not even a "shoe person".) I pulled out the contraptions holding its shape and slipped it on: a perfect fit! Now I'm wearing only the right shoe while excitedly typing about it. Maybe I should add the left shoe.

Wednesday Writing Assignment: Late Monday Edition

I'm still sick. I just can't shake this thing. Please tell me a nice story to make me feel better.

Monday Hiatus

I really did have a new idea to take the place of Questionnaire. The thing is, last night I realized that the idea is flawed somewhat, insofar as it sucks. Truly, a rotten concept. So this space will be unoccupied another week while I rethink and revise. Apologies for the delay and thanks for your patience.

Now, if you like, talk amongst yourselves.

Kitty's First Snow

We were so excited about Luna seeing her first snowfall, certain she would be lost in enchantment, eager to frolic in the magical white stuff.

When I came home Friday, I scooped her into my arms and carried her to the front stoop so that she could see the powdery, glistening flakes fall through the dark sky into the light by the door.

I'd forgotten that Luna hates getting wet.

She crawled up onto my shoulder like a scared parrot and let out these pathetic meow-shrieks until I brought her inside. Oh well, maybe next year.

Oh the weather outside is frightful...

First snow of the year! Shore is purty.

Testy

Seems like a lot of people are testy around here this week. I’m surrounded by testy, irritable people, both at work and outside of work. No wonder I stayed in bed all day yesterday.

Is everyone testy where you are?

Friday Laundry List

If I ran a movie studio...

*It would be called "Fizz Films"
*The opening shot start black with that fffffffffffffffssssssssssssssssttttt fizz sound building, and then the light would increase, and we'd see fizz rising through a liquid
*Specializes in musicals
*Tap dance in happy sequences, softshoe in sad ones
*No smoking on screen! How can you sing and smoke?
*Witty yet whimsical humor
*Really clever writers
*Unknown actors get a shot at stardom, kid
*Intermission halfway through the movie.

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Not feeling well. Staying home today. It snuck up on me.

Wednesday Writing Assignment

Once I asked a perceptive friend, vain for her own lovely, long, red locks, what the big deal is with hair. She replied that hair is a person’s crown, that it’s the feature other people notice most easily. We’ve all heard it: “She’s the tall one with the long brown hair…the curly red hair…the shoulder-length blond hair…He’s the balding guy….”

Please share a brief history of your own hair. I’ll go first:

I have a lot of hair. It’s brown, curly, unruly, and terribly thick. My hairdresser, highlighting this monstrosity, awarded me a distinction: “You have far more hair than any of my other clients.” She has a lot of clients.

Lest you think I’m bragging, I will share the travails of carrying around such a mane. It dries out terribly if I wash it more than once a week—twice a week, tops--but this is rather fortunate in the end, as it takes forever to rinse out all the necessary conditioner and, left to its own devices, will air-dry over the course of hours. This moisture-holding tendency has been problematic for me, especially during freezing 9-month New England winters. I can’t let it grow past shoulder length, or it becomes so heavy that my neck actually hurts, especially when it’s wet. No one could cut it right, leaving me with a triangle-shaped head or a poofy, round, loose afro.

Right after college, weary of my high-maintenance locks, I had the mane buzz-cut maybe an inch long (done stylishly, of course). What freedom! Two-minute showers! Instant drying! No fussing with frizz! Less neck pain! After a year of this luxurious liberty, I realized that most everyone assumed I was a lesbian on account of my short hair, which really wasn’t fair*. I grew it out again.

Thankfully, my current hairdresser knows how to cut thick curls. She even taught me the proper techniques and products (round brush, Redken’s “Smooth Down”, and some pommade) to blow-dry it without frizz, saving me from the deep winter wet-hair cold.

We should all have a Diane.

*Nothing wrong with being a lesbian, unless you aren’t one.

Monday Questionnaire, R.I.P.

Karen's suspension of Friday Fortune Cookie has emboldened me: I've been running on fumes with Questionnaire for some time now, and I think we should stir things up a bit. I'll spend the week thinking of something to take its place--though any of you is welcome to take it over or just throw one up here now and then--and in the meantime kStyle has posted more than enough for us to chew on for a while.

Sex for Money

Does it make sense that hardcore pornography is legal but prostitution is not? No really, I'm asking.

Mr. Madison Ave Goes to Washington

As usual, Ann is making astute and unusual political observations on Vertical Tab. Recently she commented, "If I hear the word 'latte' one more time in relation to liberals of any stripe, I'm going to scream."

I fear that Ann will be screaming.

Next week's Frontline explores how marketing research is used by political campaigns. According to the preview I caught on PBS last night...it's looking scary. The parties (what's so "party" about them, anyway, other than Bush's former coke habit?)...Anyway, the parties use mega marketing firms to find associations: for example, people in Virginia with two-car garages and call waiting are very concerned about gun control laws; people in Vermont who drink lattes and eat sushi and buy organic produce are bleeding heart communists. They don't care why the associations exist--no, that would give them too much insight into how to craft good policy to meet citizen's needs. Instead, these cuddly, graying, evil geniuses use the information to target specific groups with galvanizing, inflammatory campaigning (ie, fliers about how the Dems will take your guns and/or Bibles away--no really, I'm not making this one up) without other demographics seeing this material.

I leave it to you all to ruminate on the implications of this strategy. Space, time, and mental health do not permit me to do so here.

God. Bless. America.

P.S. Interesting that the Dems were totally open about how they use this marketing information, but the GOP wouldn't talk to Frontline.

(Insipid) Notes from the Day

My delightful officemate confessed that she was tempted to watch her first OC episode tonight. I'd been thinking the same thing for myself! We conspired both to watch and share tomorrow, but I got back from yoga at eight because I had to stop to pick up spinach and then I had had had to shower, because we had the ruthlessly hard teacher tonight and anyway I did cardio first, and by then...eh.

So. Maybe next week.

Meanwhile--who caught Nanny 9-1-1 yesterday?

Friday Fortune Cookie

The Oriental Market (no, that's it's name) down the road tells me they're out of Friday Fortune Cookies and that the cookies are backordered for, like, years.

It's very hard to rustle up these things and I've been doing it for a while now. If anyone else wants to try, be my guest. If you're a regular and want admin status to write up some fortune cookies, just holler. But I. Can't. Work. Like. This.

Ahem. Excuse me.

I lieu of the Fortune Cookie, I present you with...

Friday Laundry List

SO...Bush will reign another 4 years. We're all afraid for our civil liberties, yes, but we still have a lot of them. I'm grateful that I can leave the house without a chaperone with my head uncovered and talk shit about politics and tell men off without being beheaded. I have so many goddamn freedoms that I find myself with extra ones I generally don't use. They include (this is the laundry list part)

1. Making right turns on red
2. Getting a tattoo
3. Getting an abortion (but I reserve that right nonetheless)
4. Marrying a woman
5. Attending the church or other religious organization of my choosing)*
6. Drinking a lot (of alcohol)
7. Getting a pilot's license
8. Huntin'
9. Fishin'
10. Walking around after midnight

*though I go back and forth on this one

This being the interactive blog that it is, I invite you to make your own list.

Equal Time

I realize that I don't give Crown Prince Noah as much blog time as Little Miss Luna. I'd like to take a moment and explain why: Noah pretty much ignores me.

The Real Question Is

what will happen to the dashing John Edwards? I think we should put him on a soap opera.

Okay, But Listen...

I'm not so worried about Roe.

I know that a couple of SC justices are precariously teetering between this world and the next. I know that this administration manipulated a fundamentalist Christian agenda to gain power and that, given the opportunity, they might appoint ultra-conservative justices or promote Scalia, etc. It seems reasonable.

Almost.

The Republicans have been milking pro-life sentiment for politcal leverage for years. They don't want to lose that advantage. Roe v Wade is too valuable a political tool for the GOP. Like the War on Drugs, they don't really want to win it: It brings in too much money and support.

Election Thoughts: The Morning After the Morning After

Well, at least it makes sense now: Rove deliberately sought the Fundamentalist vote, knowing that millions of Christian zealots didn’t vote in 2000. The gay marriage proposals hooked that demographic, and thus all the surprise exit polls wherein voters cited “values” as their primary concern. An yet, according to NPR, over 50% of voters polled favored allowing some form of same—sex union, be it marriage or civil union with benefits. (If I were a more motivated blogger, I’d provide you with a sassy array of links, but you know how to use Google.)

NPR interviewed some high-ranking Christian nutjob yesterday, I didn’t catch his name, who asserted that clearly most Americans are against same-sex unions and this election proves it and support for same-sex unions is limited to the far-far left. The NPR correspondent cited the over-50%-support statistic, and Nutjob denied that it proved anything, much like he doubtless denies evidence for evolution or ozone depletion: “la-la-la, I can’t hear you,” he thinks.

Even more terrifying is that Rove has said he wants to create a master party to rule America into the forseeable future. (Again: Google.)

I’ve been pondering what we liberals should do. We can’t secede; they have all the weapons and will use them. Better media ain’t coming to our rescue, nor is a great liberal messiah. There’s only one solution:

Breed. Have as many li’l liberals as possible, and then colonize the red states.

Wednesday Writing Assignment (Election Week Thursday Edition)

The boyfriend asked me this morning, What’s your first memory of this being a two-party system? Now I ask you.

A Better Blog

Although cut off from tonight's "Daily Show" coverage due to our canceling cable due to the primary breadwinner (not me) starting grad school, I've been enjoying the Daily Show blog.

Nerves

I've had serious election jitters all day. I destroyed my fingernails. I worked out vigorously. I had a stiff drink.

Finally I must call it a day before results are in. It's been exhausting.

WWA is temporarily postponed on account of election fever. Unless one of you wants to post something.

Tuesday Bumper Sticker

The most important of all:

Kerry-Edwards 2004!

That CAT

Luna is an unusual kitten. She has none of the usual cat aloofness, pretension, moodiness, or fickleness. Let’s say a housecat has deigned to sit on your lap. Let’s say that you want your glass of water, sitting on the coffee table, and so you shift forward to reach it. The cat, most likely, feels insulted! Miffed! And stalks away with a flick of the tail. Certain felines would not “talk” to you again for approximately 48 hours after such a slight. Now let’s say that Luna is sitting on your lap and you reach for the water glass. No problem! She’ll readjust and resume purring when you’re ready. Let’s further suppose that, upon picking up said glass, you find it empty. Luna will gladly follow you into the kitchen and back to the couch. No problem!

There’s a dark side to Luna’s easygoing joviality, however: Nothing bothers her. It is extraordinarily difficult to discipline a cat who remains unfazed by any noxious stimulus you can dream up. No, she doesn’t like the squirt bottle, but she’s willing to risk it for the delight of eating Noah’s food. Yes, it startles her when the cut flowers she’s nibbling crash to the floor and splash water all over her, but she’ll go right back to them as soon as they’re upright. She doesn’t enjoy loud noises, my loud claps to get her off the table, but she’ll jump up again immediately. When I say, “Luna, NO!” she actually argues with me, meowing in the exact tone of voice of a middle schooler asserting that he will come to dinner in just a minute but he has almost won level 3.

Good thing she’s sweet.

Monday Bumper Sticker

If You Can Read This
You're Not the President

Monday Questionnaire, Election Edition

1. Other than the presidential race, what election is most important to you this year, in your neck of the American woods?

2. On what network(s) will you be watching the election returns?

3. What was your favorite moment of the presidential campaign? Define "favorite" however you like.