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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

At least I'm not one of those poor suckers

When my Day Job is irritating, I take stock of all the jobs I could be doing, to which I prefer my own work. I feel like I might have posted about this before, as I often take stock of careers that would be much worse, but clearly, it's still relevant and therefore bears repeating. Those jobs include:

*sewage sanitation
*dental hygienist (scraping plaque all day! the horrors!)
*eye surgeon
*EMT
*combat military
*prostitute
*coal miner
*deep sea fisher
*news reporter (too much bad news)
*celebrity hanger-on
*other surgeon
*medical doctor, other than dermatologist or psychiatrist, which I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy
*midwife
*funeral director/embalmer
*sales (though I think I'd enjoy marketing)
*mathematician or physicist
*homeless shelter supervisor (one year of that is plenty for a lifetime or so)
*burger-flipper
*retail
*cow inseminator

Update:

*Factory worker
*Hotel cleaning service (I don't think I'd mind doing a home cleaning service, at least for a while)
*Anything involving spittle or urine

I think that you could learn a lot about a person by the jobs that come to mind as the Worst Things she could do. Most of mine seem to involve some sort of bodily fluid or general ooze.

Update 2:

Writing this list has caused me to realize something. There are many, many jobs I wouldn't object to doing for a limited time period, provided I knew when the end date would be. Pumping gas, retail, the so-called menial jobs--I could see doing these things for a small amount of time. And the problem with my current job, more than the job itself, is that I have no idea when it will end! If a seer or angel or Supreme Being handed me a scroll--I envision it as being aflame but cool to the touch, never burning or disintegrating--and the scroll said, kStyle, Be It Known, Ye Shall Leave the Publishing House on [fill in date known only to a godlike being], and Yea, Then Ye Shall BE Absolved from All Such Worke, I'd be like, cool, and enjoy my job more.

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