Wednesday Writing Assignment

Angry at the jerky driver behind you? Frustrated that same-sex couples can't marry? Sick of work meetings during your lunch hour? Saddened by your fellow citizens living in poverty?

You get to enact one law and repeal one law, but you must argue your case before the Senate of Float. Be whimsical or serious, petty or humanitarian, or anywhere in-between. Go.

The Stars Are Aligned

Things are going well for me lately. I found--and purchased--my wedding dress on Sunday. I actually found three or four that would have done nicely; during previous excursions, I had found none I liked, or one for too much money.

Yesterday brought my first shiatsu session with my case study, which went beautifully. Then I saw a space I could rent a few days a week for my practice, and it was lovely, and I hit it off with the massage therapist who works there. She promised to call me first if anyone else wanted the space. And finally, I chose a business name and bought myself a domain.

My shiatsu web site--coming soon to a server near you.

I'm sick today, but the Questionnaire must go on


1. Name something you recently discovered, to your surprise, that you are good at.

2. Fill in the blank: True friends don't ________ .

3. What was your best experience seeing live theater? Name the play and share any relevant or interesting details.

Informal Marketing Survey

1. In your ideal world, what day & time would you go for a shiatsu appointment? What if you were to receive regular shiatsu; would that change the day & time?

2. Do you want your shiatsu office near your home or near your work?

3. Would you feel more comfortable receiving shiatsu from a trusted former coworker or from someone you don't know?

4. For what sort of things do you think shiatsu might be helpful?

Thank you!

Wednesday Writing Assignment

Many of the float regulars have no aspirations to parenthood. I’m on the fence. Sometimes, however, I indulge in little fantasies about how I would Mold and Shape my theoretical perfect little children into thoughtful, independent, caring adults. And when I think such thoughts, they give me a lot of insight into what I value, what I think shaped me (for better or worse), and what I think is lacking in some of the people I meet.

So tell me about your theoretical children and how you make them beyond wonderful.

The Important Things in Life

So. Three York Peppermint Patties will only cost you 160 calories. One Snickers bar gives about 320 calories.

The Only Fun Thing About Mondays? Questionnaire.

1. Name a misconception someone might have about you if she spent a day hanging out with you.

2. Complete the following sentence: If the people I work with knew that I _________, they would look at me funny.

3. In fifteen words or fewer, name an opinion you have that might or would be considered controversial. Here's the catch: though the rest of us can respond to it, you won't be asked to defend it.

Help Me

Does anyone out there have a tip for making checkbook balancing a less daunting, easier task? I hate it more than folding laundry. And I hate folding laundry.

Madison Avenue and Your Feline

Let's take a brief moment to compare what the cat food ads say our cats want to eat and what our cats tell us they want to eat.

Cat Food Ads

• beef
• fish
• chicken
• milk

Noah

• cat food
• catnip
• catnip
• amasake
• sometimes oatmeal
• grass

Luna

• tomato paste
• houseplants
• canned beans
• salsa
• ketchup
• pasta sauce
• catnip

Some things I’ve learned from two days at home sick

1. Strep throat makes even pure, clean, cool water feel like battery acid going down your throat.
2. Montel is a horrible, horrible show.
3. Oprah is not nearly as bad as I thought, but maybe that’s partly by comparison with Montel.
4. Healthy cats sleep as often as a sick person. How much, then, do sick cats sleep?

Wednesday Writing Assignment: The Snob Within

We're early this week.

I like to think of myself as a tolerant, grounded, Zen sort of person, happy to do what I want and content to leave others to their tastes and opinions. But occasionally, something jars my serene self, and a less savory side comes out: the grouch, perhaps; the gossip; or, worst, the snob.

Some people are proud of their snobbery and wear it like a badge. Some people don't realize they are snobs. Others have a sort of reverse-snobbery, looking down on those who prefer opera to bowling.

I'll share my anecdote shortly. What kind of snob are you? Has anything brought it out recently?

Monday Questionnaire: Back-to-School Edition
(Well, the first question, anyway.)

1. What is, or was, your favorite or most essential school supply?

2. Complete the following sentence: I tend to be frustrated and/or unhappy in situations in which I'm unable to ________ .

3. Share a piece of wisdom you've gleaned from a religion other than your own. If you have no religion, then any religion will do.

Wednesday Writing Assignment: Thursday Edition

Most of spend a good bit of our time trying to disguise or distract from what we think are our personal flaws. We'll wear this instead of that, if it emphasizes (or deemphasizes) this or that; we'll put this on our faces to cover that up; we won't watch a basketball game with a new friend who loves basketball if we ourselves know nothing about the game; we'll change the subject if German opera comes up, if our lack of knowledge of German opera embarrasses. But sometimes it's just unavoidable; sometimes you're in a situation where, like it or not, you have to be some not-great version of yourself in front of other people. Describe such a recent time, and tell how you handled it and whether it proved as humiliating as you feared.

3 PM Poem

1. BRICK
2. WALL
3. AFTER
4. NOON
5. SLUMP

Treasure

My grandparents just moved into assisted living. They've accumulated a lot--a lot--of stuff over the years, and disposing of it is proving quite the challenge for their children. Among the rubble of angel statuettes and People magazine, I found a few treasures, including a heavy pressed glass punch bowl and an amazing vintage dish. The dish is stamped Fenton, which, it turns out, is a famous maker of art glass. I've found the exact dish online here.

Monday Questionnaire: Tuesday Edition

1. What, if any, products do you consider to be "grooming essentials"?

2. Complete this sentence: I hate to be _______.

3. What do you like so much that you can imagine spending money on it against your better judgment, sometimes to excess?

Satori

I met with a hospice volunteer coordinator Friday at 4 PM, after the last 3 PM Friday work-release of the summer. (Excuse me while I shed a brief tear at the passing of summer hours.) I can start the eight-week volunteer training in October. An intense training it is, complete with funeral home visits and exercises to simulate the feelings of losing a loved one. The crazy thing is, it felt right. The interview was one of those precious and rare moments when I just knew--for certain--that I was on the right track. I think that my shiatsu skills are absolutely meant to be used to help souls prepare for death and to help the deceased loved ones to deal with it. And it doesn't feel at all morbid, just right.

Yet for some reason--and despite the weekend being filled with happy gatherings--I've just felt sad lately. I'm off-center. It isn't all day; I'll be cruising along happily through a day when--WHAM!--slapped by causeless sorrow. To be honest, I haven't been diligent about doing my qi gong and meditation of late. Sometimes I have emotional reactions like this when I'm fighting off a bug. Maybe I'll go to bed early just in case.

UPDATE: Definitely fighting a bug.

Cult/ Not Cult: The Cults Among Us Edition

This week we're varying up our regular cult feature with an essay rather than the usual website/voting. I think this essay will have special interest for one of our regulars here. I won't say her name, but it begins with an A.

Here you go. Via Rita via Pops, who told us Rita likes Buffy, so I had to go visit.

The Most Revolting Letter of the Day

(To the New York Times)

To the Editor:

How typical of your editorial page to criticize President Bush's speech. For the record, give me action instead of flowery words any time!

The president guided this country through 9/11 in a masterful way, and I, for one, feel that he will do the same for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Dolores Demeri
Palm Beach Gardens, Fla.
Sept. 1, 2005


* * *

Two comments: I agree that action instead of flowery words would be nice. Action for the 25,000 people stranded in the Astrodome who haven't eaten for four days would be very nice indeed. Toilets and water would be nice. A third of the state's National Guard not being in Iraq would be nice, so they could, you know, help out in exactly the sort of situation the National Guard was intended for. The letter-writer says "give me action" as though that's what the government is actually doing. (Oh, and Bush's words weren't exactly flowery. They were actually insultingly stupid.)

Second: note that the writer "feel[s]" he will do the same for the victims of the hurricane. She doesn't seem to know he is. She doesn't even think he is. She feels he is. She's got a hunch. That's cute. The way it's cute that some people "feel" there were WMDs, or "feel" that Iraq initiated 9/11. It's cute to me that we live in a world where people feel whether facts are true or not.

I myself feel that if the still-stranded citizens of New Orleans were other than poor and black, Bush would have put his game-face on sometime around Monday afternoon, but maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, I feel Bush's game-face looks a lot like a monkey's, and situations like this make me even angrier that presidential elections are won and lost based on who Americans think they'd like to have a beer with. John Kerry would've gotten a little more done in this situation, that's how I feel.