Sunday with the Fam: The Earwax Diaries

I think we all have an earwax problem in my family. I definitely do. When I was 8, I failed the school hearing test and was sent to the center for the deaf for further examination. They cleaned out my ears, gave the test again, and I passed with flying colors.

My dad, mom, and sister visited on Sunday, to see our almost-unpacked condo, deliver an old air conditioner (which turned out to suck too much energy for us to use), and to meet the kitten (whose name, Greg and I at last decided, is Luna).

Shortly after their arrival, a typical scene played out. My dad asked my sister something. She replied, “For the THIRD TIME, Dad…” and asked how he missed her explaining this twice in the car. He became a little defensive: “I was concentrating on driving.” He later asked her the same question again. This is perfectly normal, and one of the reasons my brother, sister, and I have declined my parents’ invitations to move back in after college graduation. (My brother and sister haven’t graduated yet, but have already decided to risk financial failure on a future Boston area apartment.) My parents are wonderful, sweet, generous people, of course, but we grow hoarse and frustrated with repeating things. I can’t wait until they’re actually losing their hearing…

Ah, but even my sister did not escape the Curse of the Earwax. I mentioned that Luna was called Marilyn Monroe at the animal shelter.

Mom: I can see that.
Me: She’s coquettish.
Sister: What! Did you say she’s cokehead-ish?
Me: What? I said she’s coquettish.
Sister: Cokehead-ish?
Me (finally understanding): No, she’s a flirt. But she acts like a cokehead, too.