Frivilous: Me, Too!

With props to Emma. (Scroll down. There? See. It looked like fun.)

If I were a month, I would be: May
If I were a day of the week, I would be: Wednesday or Saturday. (Sunday is the most depressing day.)
If I were a time of day, I would be: 10 AM or 7 PM. Definitely NOT 3-5 PM.
If I were a planet, I would be: Neptune. (dare I claim such a cool planet? I also like Saturn, but it seems so serious and slightly defensive.)
If I were a sea animal, I would be: sea otter
If I were a direction, I would be: center
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: a bed for stretching out and daydreaming.
If I were a sin, I would be: worry, a sin insomuch as it indicates a lack of trust in life/god/fate/others/myself/the universe
If I were a liquid, I would be: water
If I were a body of water, I would be: a river, who knows which.
If I were a stone, I would be: malachite
If I were a tree, I would be: olive
If I were a bird, I would be: hawk or chickadee, depending on the day
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: chamomile
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: classical guitar
If I were an animal, I would be: housecat or otter, though my family would say bear
If I were a color, I would be: bluegreen, white, or purple
If I were an emotion, I would be: calm
If I were a vegetable, I would be: can corn be a vegetable for our purposes?
If I were a sound, I would be: thunder or babbling brook or wind in leaves, must I choose?
If I were an element, I would be: water (but also earthy and airy...)
If I were a car, I would be: fuel-efficient and modest but shiny
If I were a song, I would be: "Aguas de Marco"
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: pass
If I were a book, I would be written by: Isabel Allende with Barbara Kingsolver
If I were a food, I would be: going on the "you are what you eat" principle, chocolate.
If I were a place, I would be: a lake in the high desert or in mountainous woods, or an island
If I were a material, I would be: cotton
If I were a taste, I would be: dill
If I were a scent, I would be: frankincense or seabreeze
If I were a word, I would be: seek
If I were an object, I would be: a marble or dental floss
If I were a body part, I would be: spine
If I were a facial expression, I would be: wink
If I were a subject in school, I would be: social studies
If I were a dog, I would be: do I have to be a dog? I don't enjoy smelling poop. I'm not much of a dog person. OK, fine...beagle with a golden retriever tail.
If I were a cat, I would be: sleepy and WAY better than a dog
If I were a number, I would be: 8