Emotional Puking

These days everyone is expected to projectile vomit emotions all over everyone else. It displeases me.

There's an Important Woman at work whose constant displays of aggression/panic are terribly gauche and unprofessional. I found out just this week that she initially didn't like me working on her projects, because I didn't seem "concerned" enough with the company's Big Important Product, on which I was a major player and she was the main player. (She told my boss this. A few weeks ago she went to my boss unbidden and apologized for her earlier remarks, saying that she could see I took my work seriously--and did it well, might I add--after all. I'd say something like "what a ho" here, but that would be terribly gauche and unprofessional of me.) Other coworkers have had the same gripe about me: You seem too calm. And my thought about each of these lovely people has been, CONTROL YOURSELF! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING! Isn't it better to keep one's (apparent) cool so that issues can be resolved with clear thinking and minimal blame? Isn't it best to do one's work well, with a minimum of fuss and drama?

Last night I was watching America's Next Top Model, my favorite guilty pleasure. In a surprise twist, two girls were kicked off in one episode! One began weeping; the other coped with humor. Tyra screamed at the wisecracker, saying she apparently did NOT take the competition seriously even though everyone was rooting for her (what with her troubled background), and that she needed to get her head on straight, and--get this--"I have NEVER yelled at a girl like this. I'm yelling at you like my momma yelled at me because she LOVES me." As Wisecracker With Troubled Background tearily packed her bags, she said she could tell that Tyra really did love her because she cared enough to yell at her like that.

Say what?

So, if I can get this straight:
1. Wisecracker was accused of not taking anything seriously because she did not projectile vomit emotions all over everyone.
2. Tyra yelled and screamed at Wisecracker because she really loves her like a daughter.
3. Wisecracker understood finally how much Tyra cares because Tyra projectile vomited emotions all over her.

Conclusion: Will another culture please adopt me? Something a little more dry.

Ann already has written about emotional demonstrativeness/lack thereof from a different angle. Go read hers, too.