the original kStyle blog.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Wednesday Writing Assignment

Written by the clever Carla and posted by the grateful kStyle.

Admit it: we all like getting that positive attention. So:

1. What do you do to get it? What are your best features?
2. What do you most hate to see other people doing?
3. Describe some positive attention you received but hadn't mongered or expected.

Bonus from kStyle: Write an interview with your inner pop star.


Blogger Ann said...

1. I try to write good poems and essays and construct attractive websites and have insightful things to say. My best features are that I really do appreciate constructive criticism and thoughtful discussion (even with Republicans, when they're reasonably polite), and that I can admit when I'm wrong, and that I avoid insults.

2. Injecting personal details into all their conversations. One woman in my office manages to talk about herself during every phone call she receives. A "Yeah, I understand" is much more effective, and much less annoying, than, "Yeah, I know, it's like this one time when I..." (One reason I hate this so much is because I have to work to refrain from doing it myself.)

3. On Monday someone at work came over and said, "Have you lost weight? You look thin; you look nice." I wish she'd stopped after the first sentence. I've been exercising and eating (relatively) well; I don't mind having that effort recognized. But the rest of her comment irrirated me. What, did I not look nice a year ago? (Of course I thanked her enthusiastically, because her intentions were good and she's a very sweet person on the whole.)

I prefer positive attention for things I've had a role in creating rather than things I just am. "Nice pants" is better than "Nice eyes," because I actually choose (and choose to wear) my pants; "Nice homemade cookies" is even better than that. And "Good thinking" is the best compliment ever.

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. Personality-wise, I try to be forthright, but I also try to be funny. I try to write well, too. Appearance-wise, I try to wear clothes that look good. I've been complimented on various body parts (enough such that I know which ones most people are likely to find attractive, which is useful in picking clothes that accentuate those things), though I'm not conventionally pretty by anyone's estimations.

2. I most hate to see other people (mostly women) wearing certain things. Tight, low-cut shirts (yes, you have nice breasts, but I don't want to see that much of them); really high heels (they make my feet hurt just to see them); anything wherein the wearer is constantly adjusting it, as though s/he's not quite comfortable in it. And I hate when women dumb themselves down to attract a man. It just makes me crazy.

3. This just popped into my head: I have had multiple black men comment on the way I walk over the years. I don't have a very "ladylike" walk, I think (I've been told some variation of that for 30 years), or a seductive one, for that matter, but I can't tell you how many black men have commented, appreciatively, about my walk. It's never done disrespectfully or rudely in any way whatsoever, just . . . appreciatively.


12:59 PM  
Blogger kStyle said...

1. I’m smart. Not in a copy-the-teacher way, though I can do that, but in an intuit-the-next-step way. I catch connections and meanings easily. Also, I have lots of unruly, curly hair and a perfect (if unfashionably pale) complexion. Not that I really do these things on purpose for the sake of attention…I try to be witty, with varying success.

2. Ha ha! Oh, do I have a story about a chick at the gym the other night. I’ll tell you when I have more time. Stay tuned.

3. I’m often complimented on my nose and my skin. I find it a little strange, to be honest. All those compliments are the only reason I realized I have perfect skin. Guess I’m lucky!

1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, smart gets me a lot of points, too--though only with the crowd that can handle it. The men with whom I've dealt are interesting that way--the ones who genuinely like smart women really like me, but the ones who are only saying they like smart women but really mean they like women who are not stupid but who aren't as smart as them, well, I make those men crazy, especially if I start surreptitiously (or not so) calling them on their crap. Men who genuinely like smart women are wonderful and I heart them.


2:59 PM  

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