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Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Wednesday Writing Assignment

Write an obituary for your favorite condiment.

For example:

Maple Syrup, 1609-2004.

Condiment, syrup, beverage, friend. The Native Americans taught the Pilgrims how to make maple syrup when they reached the Americas in 1620, but syrup production long predated those early settlers.

Drawn from the graceful maple tree, this nectar was delicious and versatile. A beloved breakfast companion, it brought out the best in waffles, pancakes, French toast, and even sausage. In later years imitators made largely from corn syrup often masqueraded as maple syrup, but they did nothing to diminish the greatness of Grade A Amber. In northern states, such as New Hampshire, maple syrup made appearances in many gift shops, molded into leaf-shaped candy.

Maple syrup forever changed the way we eat and the way we think about food. It will be sorely missed.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

From Eric:

SALT (The beginning of time-2004)

Few can dispute that in finding sodium chloride we found our culinary soul. Who would have guessed that from the depths of the oceans, the outskirts of marshes, the fine grains of earth, we would discover a substance magical enough to bring out the best in all our foods?

For that is what salt did. Having no particular taste of its own (save for "salty," tautologically so), it was content to enhance the tastes of others, ever unselfish, asking nothing in return. French fries need to taste more potatoey? Pass the salt. Soup need more of that soup flavor? Bring on the salt. Filet mignon lacking a bit of filetness, or mignonity? Sodium chloride, if you please.

Of course, every happiness has its price, and that exacted by salt was, for many, too high. Hypertension is a nasty beast, and it often resigned its victims to saltless, tasteless lives. (Or to seeking out "salt substitutes" like Mrs. Dash. That whore.) But nothing could compare with the original--the natural choice--the condiment put here by God to make our palates sing.

Salt is survived by his life partner, Pepper.

8:52 AM  
Blogger kStyle said...

This assignment might be off the deep end, but, to mix metaphors, come on in--the water's fine!

6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Cinnamon was used to flavor many foods, from pumpkin pancakes and baked goods at breakfast, to moles and stews at lunch and dinner. Although cinnamon was known for her effect on desserts, she also made the occasional appearance in a beverage, particularly in coffee. Several foods--cinnamon rolls, in particular--bore the name of this spice, attesting to her widespread popularity. She took different forms, primarily found either as a powder or as a stick. She enlivened any party, especially one to which winter squash or apples were invited. Her origins were in several places, most notably China and Southeast Asia.

carla (this came to me over the weekend as I put some cinnamon in my coffee grounds . . .)

12:40 PM  
Blogger kStyle said...

mmmmmm....cinnamon. She will be sorely missed.

9:50 AM  

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