Arrrrrr

Went as pirates to a Halloween party tonight. And I don't know if it's just my piratical 'tude lingering, but upon coming home I unsubscribed from maybe half a dozen email lists. I opened an email account, and went: ARRR! Too much seagull shit be cloggin' up me inbox. Scurvy dogs tryin' to steal me treasure with they pleas for orphans and beluga whales! Or tryin' to sell me vitamins I don't need--I'd rather have scurvy and rickets both than give me treasure to that bearded land-lubber Dr. Weil! ARRRRR.

So I slashed a virtual cutlass through these e-newletters. Tomorrow I just may close down an email account or two (I have four. Do I need four?) and cancel one or more of the credit cards that just sits there without any balance, sending me statements for $0 every month. Then I'm going to get on that Do Not Fucking Send Me Your Fucking Catalogs list and make J Jill and her scurvy-dog kin walk the plank to a long sleep with Davy Jones.

ARRRRRR, I shall be free as the sea.