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the original kStyle blog.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Myth Busters

Myth: "You can see that [baby name] has the [mother's surname] [facial feature] and the [father's surname] [facial feature].

Fact: Babies all look alike. They look like babies. They have ridiculously large heads (usually bald), giant eyes, eerily translucent skin, fat legs, and the same shape nose, all of them. If babies looked distinct from one another, they would not be mixed up in hospitals.

Myth: kStyle is getting married; therefore she'll settle down*.

Fact: kStyle herself isn't particularly fond of babies or small children.

Myth: It's different when you have your own kids! kStyle will make a great mom.

Fact: If kStyle has kids at all, she is likely to adopt eight-year-olds, because she does not really like children under the age of eight.

Myth: Older children are already too messed up and shouldn't be adopted.

Fact: That's just a sad way of looking at the world. Although some emotional scarring is to be expected, with a good counselor, a good mentor, and lots of love, an older child could be just fine. Not that kStyle necessarily wants kids anyway.


*Settle down is code for "pop out babies".

8 Comments:

Blogger Lah said...

dare I ask who said such things? I'm guessing maybe a grandparent or older aunt or uncle...

ps. I feel pretty much the exact same way on all these points.

12:12 PM  
Blogger kStyle said...

It's more The General Public. Casual acquaintences. Societal assumptions.

8:52 PM  
Blogger Ann said...

My sentiments exactly. I don't particularly like kids, either. Oh, babies are cute for maybe half an hour while somebody else is holding them, but after that I usually want to go home to my nice baby-detrius-free apartment with the exposed electrical cables and sharp corners and small objects not intended for children under the age of three.

Also:

Myth: "Oh, you'll change your mind when your biological clock starts ticking."

Fact: There is no such thing as a "biological clock," and I'll change my mind about kids when you move to Russia.

10:43 AM  
Blogger Emma Goldman said...

I'm with y'all on this one. I always said that I'd have kids iffi I found myself with someone who I believe would truly share the work of raising them. That did not happen, ergo no kids. the stepkid is another category, of course, but, push comes to shove, he's not my kid. (We're doing what we can to make sure I can maintain a relationship with him, however.)

3:41 PM  
Anonymous Larry Jones said...

This is so cute it made me laugh at work.

6:46 PM  
Blogger kStyle said...

Ann: Don't forget the baby spittle. Drool everywhere.

Emma: I would really enjoy, I think, a mentorship relationship with an older child, like you and the stepkid.

Larry: I'm glad my Intense Grouch translated as cute. I would hate to be a total gray cloud; perhaps you saw a bunny in it.

7:54 PM  
Blogger M. Lynette DiPalma said...

I have to tell you that I felt EXACTLY the same. I hated kids...had no idea what the hell to do with them. But then I got knocked up, totally out of the blue, and well after I was old enough to know better. I had a great pregnancy, and did what I was supposed to do while I was pregnant (no matter how much I wanted the freaking sushi..), but I was essentially in denial the whole nine months. It all came crashing down on me when my water broke.

Now, I still hate other kids, and the constant interruption in public from the Baby Paparazzi (the Piperazzi as we call 'em since my daughter's name is Piper) is mind boggling to me because when another stroller rolls by the last thing that crosses my mind is to check out its contents. But the truth is that I had written this horrible script of what motherhood meant in my head, and I was utterly shocked to find that it was all wrong. Sure, the getting barfed on constantly isn't the cutest thing in the world, but I gotta tell you that the kid kicks ass. Take it from an ex-poster girl for childlessness...being a mom rocks in ways you just don't know about until it happens. The people who know me are pretty amazed by the transition. Before she came along much of my life, especially my attitude towards having kids, was very cerebral, but once that slimy little bundle was put on my chest, it's been all heart. It's really been amazing...if I could bottle that kind of love I'd be a bazillionaire.

I got carried away, but my point is that I think the current child-bearing generation has been convinced of all that sucks about reproducing. We hear the horror stories and even SEE them in the grocery store isles, and we're convinced how icky kids are, and how they will ruin our lives. Maybe it's a result of overzealous birth control efforts when we were teens. I'm not suggesting you go get pregnant...far from it...I just wanted you to know that being a mom is one of the most amazing things that can happen to someone...even those of us who are thoroughly convinced otherwise.

Cheers :)

10:00 PM  
Blogger kStyle said...

Hello and thanks for your insights. It's nice to hear from someone who wasn't a baby person, but converted for her own child.

And you make an interesting point: Has hearing the negative aspects of child rearing over and over turned us off of it? Possibly.

3:44 PM  

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