A Disturbing Encounter

I was in the mall this weekend, usually a favorite hangout of mine. As in many malls, the aisles of this one are populated with carts selling trinkets and cell phones, t-shirts and velvet paintings. It's sort of the flea market within the flea market.

Walking to the store I planned to shop at, I saw a young woman working at one of these mini-shops. Several yards before I got near her, I could see what she was selling: some sort of hand cream, body cream, lotion-type thing, probably with claims to keep its intended female consumers looking ever younger. I could also see that she was selling it pretty boldly, actually accosting passers-by and telling them to try it.

As I neared her little shop she came right at me, basically blocking my path. My first thought was, "But I'm not a woman..." (Later I realized she knew this. It was all part of her plan.) Still, I was hardly prepared for what she actually said to me. She said, "Do you have a special woman in your life?"

Do I what?

I said, "That's kind of a personal question."

Her response, the mark of a consummate professional, was just to repeat the question: "Tell me, is there a special woman in your life?"

She was very intent but incredibly offensive. So I decided to try to shake her script. I said, "There was, but she died."

I underestimated her. She didn't even blink before moving on to the next unsuspecting shopper, leaving me to mourn alone for my fake dead girlfriend with the prematurely aging skin.