Wednesday Writing Assignment

If you were a goddess (or god), Olympian-Style, how would you be worshipped? What would you require of your followers? Remember: you're arbitrary, capricious, and definitely not omnipotent. No world peace or crap like that. Bonus: create your divine name and powers.

I shall now tackle my own assignment:

Bring the goddess (me) baskets of chocolate and olives (in SEPARATE baskets, lest ye be smoted) and place them on a decadent altar of flowers and ripe fruit. Make great steaming baths of tea over fires colored with minerals (I want green, orange, blue, red, and purple flames) to send a fragrant incense heavenward.

Every third full moon shall be a festival day with dancing and singing and wonderful tales told around colored fires. (Followers may have a smaller, noncolored fire for toasting S'Mores.) These festivals must begin in the morning and continue late into the night, in a tree-dotted meadow by the side of a river. The goddess loves cats, so be very kind to felines (she often takes their form). At all times, all followers must really laugh if they are laughing and really cry if they are crying, or the goddess will throw them into a terrible place where the sky is always gray and people always bland; a place without smells or tastes or color, a permanent February in Massachusetts.

If you please the goddess, she will reward you with bountiful gardens and the artistic talent of your choice. She also grants subversive, dry humor to her most beloved devotees.

This goddess controls the winds and reveals the stars to sailors to return them home safely. She is the patron of felines, great and small. She rules over nap time, granting sweet dreams to the troubled and inspiring dreams to the jaded.